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Legendary Acinonyx Jubatus!
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 1st, 2009|11:22 am] |
June first already. Wowza.
E3 starts today friends, expect some amazing news! I'm very very excited. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 20th, 2009|12:56 am] |
To my movie night friends:
I missss youuuuuu~
Hope you're having fun^^
Maybe after the shift bid comes around I can get tuesdays nights off. Who knows!
Ian^^ |
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| The rest of my vacation |
[May. 11th, 2009|09:52 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | corey | ] |
| [ | Music |
| | Mono's "The Flames Beyond The Cold Mountain" | ] |
Well, I had the rest of my vacation and nothing really happened. A lot of magic playing. That wasn't really what I wanted to be doing on my vacation though.
I guess after watching Lost In Translation, and talking to Corey, and even moreso, listening to soft instrumental music, it has put me in one weirded out mood.
I guess it's weird to vent in a public setting about your personal life, even if it is just a journal, and that is what (not so much the public setting) you typically do. You vent, or just jot down some emotions. Whatever. Thats what I do anyways. Haha!
I mainly change the direction of what I did this week, to how I feel after that relaxing, but very busy, hopeful, and fun week because after really talking to Corey, he rubs off on me a little. He wants a change done to his life and he is working on it. We both strive for the same goal, and we're both busy. Why doesn't it seem like it's working out for us? In the long run, yes it will I assume, but I know both him and myself would like to see something come of our efforts.
My new job starts tomorrow, as does my new responsibility to pay for my new car that I purchased today. Insurance, Car payment, acceptance to college, two jobs. This is supposed to better my life, isn't it? What Corey and I are looking for, is it at the end of the road, or along the way? Oy, I'm terribly confused sometimes.
It'd be great to have constant attention in situations like these, at least I could tell someone whats up, and if I'm going to die tomorrow, or not. Hahaha, Fucking psycho Alan. But seriously, sometimes I only have my guitar, and thats why Monty is my picture tonight. Don't get me wrong, I miss him, and I always will, but this is not what the topic is about. I just know he'd love to snuggles with me and me with him. Hahaha.
-_- Anyways.
I get my car tomorrow, and I hope like fuck that opens up new doors and I can do everything I wanted to do the week of my vacation.
I'm going to goto some random place and guitar for the air, trees, and birds after work tomorrow night. I will be working 3PM-12:30AM every night for the next 3 weeks. Oy.
Maybe I should get a phone?
Ian^^ |
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| Fifth day of vacation! |
[May. 9th, 2009|04:04 pm] |
| [ | Music |
| | John Surman & Tony Levin's "Element of Suprise" (soma FM) | ] |
Oh so uh, I woke up yesterday, did some livejournaling, and was invited to ithaca for the evening to hang out with Beth, and Jess, and Josh!! Prepping for this, as the day continues, I go and hang out with Josh and we have Pizza! Eventually Jeff stopped by and we went to play Magic at Wegmans, with my new cards that I received in the mail to enhance my deck. Apparently I bought a lightning bolt not knowing I had FOUR already (as 4 is the maximum card limit in any deck) so I have a random 4 dollar card sitting around doing nothing for now. But with my deck, I managed to kicks Jeff's ass with his Elf deck.. his sliver deck was a different story, but I did extremely well and we both won a block of "two-out-of-three" games.
I got home at like nine and Austin asked me to go to market street for the some drinks because Lee was in town. We get to market st, and I see Emily Marino and the beautiful Tina, whom I don't know her last name. We chat a bit then we head over to Three Birds, and Jeremy and Lee of course was there. I immediately start talkin' to Jeremy and we ended up talking about Magic, go figure. Jess and Austin went to Maley's and came back eventually because I never went, too busy talking about magic. She comes back and points out that there is someone that, I think she said were looking for me? I don't really remember. But Yeah, I saw Alex, Robin, and Theresa and went to join them for a beverage. Jess and I danced like retards, but we're great at that so I'm sure alot of people were very very impressed. After everyone left, I was left with Josh and his friend, and I followed them down Market St as a wondering minstrel, playing random shit on my guitar, drunk. This was tough to do with no strap, and walking.
Anyways, got home, happily so and went to bed. |
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| Third, and fourth day of vacation |
[May. 8th, 2009|04:48 pm] |
So yeah, I uh went to NYC! It was a great time to go, except not really. I drove the whole way in Eric's car and back, but it was worth it because Eric offered expences. Once again, thanks Eric. All in all, though,it was fun because we actually got lost 4 times on the whole trip. I attribute it to Eric breaking my confidence in my already super good directional sense. We saw Foopy and we had lots of Soju at Prince 2, which is the best bar I've been to yet in NYC, I'm sure there are better and lots more of them, but who cares. We came home and that was really about it.
Yesterday was nice though, going to bed and waking up at 11pm/am. mmmmmmmmmmmm.
Anyways, more fun is planned for tonight! Post tomorrooowwwwww
Ian^^ |
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| Second day of vacation |
[May. 6th, 2009|12:53 am] |
| [ | Music |
| | Static-X's "Love Dump" | ] |
So yeah, after I posted my entry about yesterday, my mother came over as I was repairing the virus issue, it spread into the backup drive but didnt affect the mp3s or files that I have thankfully. I installed XP, then Eric talked me into downloading Windows 7 RC 1, and installing that.
As the download finished I needed to burn the image to a disc, and I used imgburn to do that, thanks Eric, again. my mother came over as we had planned earlier in the week so I could finally go get a car, and we looked all over, Lucky's Auto, and some places in bath and savona I think it was. I picked out a Honda Civic, 2002 LX with 180,000 miles on it. I hope to get it tomorrow, but we'll see!
Then my mother and I had AZN! Great food at Evergreen express.
I came home and installed windows 7, and played around with it and customized it. I switched from AIM95 to Miranda once again, too. I've got to say, it was well worth downloading and installing windows 7 because now I can use my 64 bit processor and use more than 4 gigs of ram.
Went to denny's with Jessica which was a great time, Josh and Amy were there aswell. We had fun and now I'm back home.
I know I wanted to have a great vacation every single day, but to me, getting a car is a big deal, so while everything else might not be amazing, it was a great day. |
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| First day of vacation |
[May. 5th, 2009|01:42 pm] |
| [ | Music |
| | Weezer's "Dope Nose" | ] |
I have my first weeks paid vacation ever this week, and I decided to post about what happened each day of it, not only to kill time, but to enjoy this maybe in the future.
I'm posting a day late on this day, but honestly after what happened I can totally understand that I couldn't make the post under the circumstances.
I had the weekend off this week, which included Austin's birthday party, and some extremely late night magic the gathering, so much in fact that we played until 4AM! Which actually strangely enough affected my entire day off. Thinking I would get a full night of sleep I went to bed not so much concerned with anything, but for whatever reason I was awake after a measly 4 hours of sleep! I couldn't fall back asleep, and needed something to do!
I decided "Hey I have a great idea!" I want to go back to college more than anything in the world, so I applied for FAFSA and submitted it after about an hour or so. Luckily my mother asked me to do her taxes online so I had her information, and I had mine. Perfect chance to get that done, and of course the next step, I applied to Corning Community College right afterwords, and picked my major area of study, "Information Technology: Networking." It was a tough choice, honestly. It was between that, and Chemical Technology..
But damn, I felt great after getting that done, so I told my grandpa and he was into it. He mentioned something about a car in Savona for 1000 dollars, and so I called my mother up and we're going to look at the car today.
So randomly because I was still awake at like 10 AMish I hop onto my facebook account and look around, and out of the blue I decide hey, lets hang out with someone because shes online, free, and what else would I be doing now that I've quit FFXI for the most part. Of course part of me is well-attracted to her, but I have my concerns with it.
We're bound to meet at Atlas at 2PM! I cleaned up my room, showered and did some busy stuff and left at like 1:50 because my grandpa was waiting for the mail for some reason..? Anyways, I ran into Gretchen at Atlas and we struck up some awesome conversation, and I go to sit down while waiting. I waited about 15 minutes and ordered the pizza I wanted, and left at around 2:30 to hang out with Josh because she never showed up! I was kinda like.. thats rude, but just upset enough to go home at 3. Quick day in Corning. Found out after I got home she had sent me a message at 1 (and hour before I left really) saying she couldn't make it. Ah fuck my ass, I am retarded for not checking it before I left. I got back and had a good eventful conversation with her, and took a nap for 2 hours.
I decided to log onto FFXI because there was some simple events going on tonight, and I love my friends in the game. I did Salvage, and King Vinageroon.
Austin and I went to denny's and played magic until 2am, and I got home and sat down on my computer to find a surprise. A Virus. Wow. Second time this month. I was furious because I wanted to sleep, so I quickly backed up my stuff and let the computer run overnight. This is really frustrating to me.
I shall return for part 2 of 7 in my weeks paid vacation.
Ian^^ |
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| Some guys challenged us at denny's tonight.. |
[Apr. 24th, 2009|02:10 am] |
I wrote up a basic outline of proposed ideas, rules, and guidelines in which we lightly talked upon and mostly agree with each other on. We're going to form up the rules next month by combining our propositions.
Here is what I have so far:
The Denny's -A- Thon.
The council of Dennys is to meet: May 24th, 2,009. to discuss all matters
of business about the proposed ideas.
~~All information beyond this point is pending on agreement.~~
The Denny's -A- thon shall be a last man standing event in which
both, or all teams last the most amount of time consecutively in one "sitting".
*Pending start date and time: 12AM, July 24th, 2,009.*
The winners gains ultimate glory/bragging rights, The corner booth for
SIX months solid, and either the whole tab from the event payed by the
losers, or one night for partying in the Hilton-Garden payed for by the
losers.
Thus far, two teams of three individuals are being formed.
Multiple teams are being considered, and we welcome your application.
-----Suggested Rules:
1. You must eat exclusively at Denny's.
2. You may only be allowed anything that fits into a backpack.
3. Getting kicked out is termination of the attempt.
4. Sleeping is disqualification.
-----Area Limitations:
1. Denny's area, minus the back parking lot near the hotel.
2. Sugar Creek. (For 10 minutes)
----Unagreed-upon Ideas:
1. A one hour break per person. Anything is allowed in
this time slot. Going home, showering, napping, or
anything else. If you do not return in ONE hour exactly,
you are disqualified from the event.
2. You may have visitors.
3. Any outside drugs to help you stay awake are not allowed.
4. Smoking outside is okay.
5. Penalties are in the form of negative minutes, and will be
calculated upon the last man standing.
----challenges:
*Most shits with proof.
*Most Coffee kept talley by the waiters, if willing.
*Get on the roof with photographic proof. (50 dollar bonus)
*Have a Denny's legend show up.
*15 Item scavenger hunt
-Josh's idea:
If a team member can get to the horseheads dennys without the other team
noticing, and they call the other team leader when they arrive. You only
get one chance, and if caught there is a penalty or something.
Well, if caught you have to return, or when they arrive they return
End of text.
If you have any ideas for this, let me know.. we'd probably be up for anything if we have to fill 24+ hours of this |
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| Fresh air? |
[Feb. 27th, 2009|01:01 am] |
| [ | Music |
| | Royksopp "Someone Like me" | ] |
Looks like spring is coming around soonish. Maybe three more weeks or so? It's my favorite time of the year! Lets get all that snow outta here, even if it is beautiful in the middle of the night! So I'm doing my 6xWeekly update, and I don't have much to post! But actually, I AM posting from my new PC.
I met some really awesome people from florida, Ashley and Jessie. We hung out for the weekend on valentines day! At least I wasn't lonely on that commercial poop of a holiday. I really would like to hang out with them again sometime. They've offered for me to stay down there fo free, which I might take up this summer if I have enough money. I posted some pictures from their stay on my myspace. Girls + Iceskating = really cute.
Richard is leaving for the Army early march, which makes me really sad, too. But I guess we're going to give him a great last time hurrah! I'd also like to visit him in ..texas (not) this summer.. but fat chance of that with three potential trips lined up.
Of course I still miss Monty, some night greater than others, but this year is in honor of Monty! I've developed some plans for this year, and it's going to be a hard year. I know for sure that it will pay off in the end! Lets just say, Monty inspired me to make this happen.
Of course the year is starting off slow, I'm working near full time hours at McDonald's and saving my money for a GIANT reason. To go back to college! I will not let college slip out of my hands, and I need "a greater education" in the future for one thing: To eventually own another lovable kitty. I need my own place, and a good enough job to have a place and a good education to have that job so that I may... in fact.. love another kitty.
Also at the same time, I will be purchasing a new car to get me to college. My debt is gong to be hard, but how else do you expect me to end up fulfilling my life dreams?
I will also (maybe) will acquire a new place to stay at the end of march, this is recent news to me, but it's really needed with the way things are at home with my insane uncle who wants to kill me (literally.) I hope that works out more than almost all of the above.. but I know it's only a temporary fix, so I need to work on my main goal for now.
How is everyone else?
Corey posted something about how sometimes people have to hit the rock bottom before they pick themselves off and begin anew, and I'd like to mention that from my (not so) recent posts that my life is definitely applicable to that statement. I hope like crazy that its true, because the next step would be to do everything that I have mentioned. Of course, I will be posting all that info, as the time approaches, too. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 9th, 2008|02:15 am] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  morose | ] |
| [ | Music |
| | Explosions In The Sky | ] |
So my live journal, it's been 4 weeks.
Last November sure looked great according to the last time I made a post, but November and December has demolished my inner-self.. It's hard to understand what it feels like to be happy.
I rested in my bed for 10 minutes, thinking to myself about all the sadness that I have in my life, while finally listening to music for the first time in a weeks. It's hard to ignore your feelings when you're listening to Explosions In The Sky, let alone to listen to the musicians that basically created the anthem to your ultimate happiness, and sorrow-filled thoughts. So I had to get up and vent. I know there is always one place I can turn to when its getting crazy hard in my life, and surprisingly, its a public forum to express myself on. It's not that I trust people too easy, however I feel like it's nice to know people might glance at some of the things I say.
But I admit, listening to explosions in the sky really gets me going, and to dwell on my more recent weeks is all to hard for me to do. What else could I do?
Let me begin. To anyone, and everyone in the world, I don't care who you are; but the most sad moment of my life occurred.
Monty, my best friend.. the body I most cared for decided to leave the house while I was at work. Only for me to return to an empty room, with no cat in my chair, no cat in my bed, no cat on the window, and no cat on top of my computer desk. Of course, I knew instantly that we was gone, and that he might not ever return. I had that distinctly strong feeling, and I was of course, right. It's officially been over two weeks now and every night, and every second I think about him. He really meant everything in the world to me.
So for this moment, I tribute my happiness that faintly remains to him, my cat.
For over 14-15 months, I could take comfort in him. I would come home, from work 90% of the time and need a hug. He made sure to sleep with me every night, to show me that he wasn't just an typical cat who was 100% independent, and to show me that he knew that I needed him to be close. We were really good friends, and we would bond in our strange ways..
(Kinda like how if he wanted to play with me, he would run behind the couch and jump out and scare me, only for me to chase him away, and for him to hide and start the cycle all over again.)
He truly made me happy, throughout the last year I thought I couldn't have happiness in my life, and I was sadly mistaken. I never took him for granted though, I always loved him, and fed him, and let him enjoy his freedom. Of course that is all dust in the wind, if you will..
The saddest fact is true, in that he is now just words typed out, and posted to a random server that may in fact someday also die.
Of course he is in my heart, but I know eventually Monty will become a memory that will more than likely fade over time, as everyone puts events in the banks of their minds after a few years.
I really love Monty, and I miss him more than all of my sadness put together. If its impossible to understand, then grasp this: He was all I had, and he got me through everything.
..
..
..
An insignificant post such as this does not grasp his greatness, or my appreciation for him, however this post is intended to post all the recent events.
...
Of course, after this dragged out decaying feeling for Monty is wrapping me under, not only does life decide to shit on me, it decides to shit on me hard.
The whole initial week I was dealing with this, I had gotten to hang out with Jessica, Jeremy, and Lee a lot, which made it bearable in a since. Late nights in freezing cold temperatures hurt my body, and I developed a sickness that is still partially with me to this very day. Bryan, Jessica, and myself head to Ithaca for a night in the bars that I've wanted to see for so long. The places were much of a let down, but to hang out with Bryan was a very enjoyable experience.
Later in the evening, I found out I wasn't seeking a sexual situation after all this time. Which was honestly pretty obvious to me. However it did do a little for me. But needless to say, the sickness got worse after words, and I was layed up.. or at least I attempted to be, although my manager at work told me no, I'm not allowed to have a day off because I was sick. Disgusting.
The day after, my alarm clock doesn't go off, and I'm 30 minutes late for my Flower delivery job. She fires me. I loved that job, but it was my fault I suppose.
So, now I have a week of 20 hours of work, because I still have my McDonald's job. Lots of free time, so I decide to play some Final Fantasy XI.
My computer dies.
Ugh, So I'm sitting here for hours and hours trying to figure it out, and nothing comes of it. So I have to sit there.. in a dim-lighted room, with nothing to do but to dwell about Monty.
-~
Luckily, Austin has allowed me to use his broken lappy. I can at least use the internet with it.
Yesterday, I found out that my t-shirts were delivered to the wrong address, and I have to get them tomorrow. Today, I dropped my PC at Southern Tier PC, for a diagnostics test. I can probably fix my computer by myself and save lots of money in the process.
-~
They say for everything to start getting better, that you have to hit the rock bottom. In the last year, I would say I have come closer to it than ever before. I know, at least I hope.. my sanity, and for the sake of not letting that small battered core that makes me, me will not completely be forgotten.
__________
Mont Blanc
physically Loved from May 2007, until November 25th, 2008.
I'll never forget your little paws.
Ian^^ |
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| Video games! |
[Nov. 10th, 2008|09:36 pm] |
| [ | Music |
| | Lovage "Stroker Ace" | ] |
Wow, November has jump up on me! I can't believe that it's suddenly November 10th! But sadly, I'm going to be sinking alot of money into a very empty space in my life in the next week. Video Games! I'm really excited about some games coming out, and of course they all come out in november... this week.
So, I goto gamestop.com and read that oh SHIT! Animal Crossing is coming out in 6 days.. How could I have not been prepared for that?! Then, I go and look at when Tales Of Symphonia 2 comes out, OH SHIT! November 11th!! That's tomorrow?! Either way, I can't refuse either games, because they're both going to be amazing. (Especially Animal Crossing <333333333).
Then, I start thinking about it, and of COURSE! I'm missing something! Chrono Trigger on the DS! Holy shit, this month is going to cost me like, 170 bucks in video games! -_-; Oh well, I can deal, I'm going to extremely happy with those games, I'll just have to play Final Fantasy 11 lightly..
But on a serious note, I've been very dissatisfied with video games lately, and you know... games have always been a big part of me, so it's probably viable to see where I am coming from. perhaps this will give me a little more motivation about them? g0g0
Time to go deliver flowers! |
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| 6 weeks ago! |
[Sep. 18th, 2008|01:19 am] |
| [ | Location |
| | Home | ] |
| [ | Mood |
| | pessimistic | ] |
| [ | Music |
| | Explosions In The Sky (Bootleg from Fine Arts Center at Calven College 4-20-08) | ] |
I see it's been six weeks until my post today. I feel like I've been putting it off, for whatever shallow reasons I could conjure up, yet I don't feel like posting about how shitty life is tonight. I feel like if there was ever a tone to my livejournal entries it would have to be "Life Sucks" so basically, just assume that while you look over this very randomly placed entry in the year of 2,008.
I would really like to mention before anything else, however, that I shall miss you Nikka. I totally wish you the best of luck while you're there. I hope you experience so many new things and meet lots of awesome people, and I hope it doesn't ever stress you out. I personally and very jealous, but in a the most generous way imaginable. Take care, and level sync with me in FFXI!
Onto the juicy bits of my existence in the past months!
To start off, I would like to admit that I have literally destroyed one of the most important beliefs in my life, for 22 years of my existence, believe it or not, I never ever wanted anything to do with alcohol in my life, or my surroundings. To some crazy extreme, so much that I lost one of the most important people in my life to date, Mary. Not so much a big deal to me anymore, however looking back on it, I can clearly see how things might have been different for me and her.
To continue, though, I shattered my strongest belief months and months ago. I consumed and enjoyed myself while drinking alcohol, with my friends. Several times, several weeks after weeks. I'm somewhat okay about it. I'm not hurt about changing my opinion. But sometimes it just feels wrong to think of who I could become now. I'm sure its obvious why it's such a big deal, but back to the shattering.
-Jeff's 21st birthday; August 30th, 2,008.
I decided that it would be completely okay to try out getting 100% funked up, based off of the fact that I never had a 21st, and that it was swiss masters... and I was just plain old curious. Needless to say, I did. I passed out, violated my friends (hahahahaha) and puked EVERYWHERE. Mind you, that was the first time drinking that I have ever thrown up. The down side of all this fun we had was that yes, Jeff and I got really messed up, so much that we both could have died from alcohol poisoning. Jeff went to the hospital and the pumped him full of fluids, and he made it. Meanwhile, I stayed at Jeff's house the whole night and also made it somehow.
But as a life lesson I can say that it was well earned, and I will never ever forget how dangerous these things can be.
I'm not sure if I had mentioned in my previous posts that McDonald's was going to start to train me as a manager, but in case I didn't know its out there. It's been months and months since they said this to me, and I have hardly seen any progress to that status, except for them training me on how to do the deposit for the afternoon shift. It's really really discouraging, and makes me not want to try my hardest for them.
In addition, I honestly had one of THE hardest weeks of working there this week. I'm not sure what it was. Working 5:45 hours just so I didn't get a break, throwing me into the same position I'm in everyday (drive-thru,) the managers ignoring my request for help, my all around back breaking to make sure that the store doesn't fall apart because new people cant keep up with the demand.. I just think that it was a giant GIANT combination of all that, and the effect of which my personal life is/was tearing it down.
So I have decided, as of a few days ago, that I am now in the hunt for a job. I want a job that I can actually be slightly happy at. Fuck experience of training as a manager! Honestly, if it takes this long for them to get their shit together then I really don't want any part of it. Conversely, I do want the experience, quite a bit. Irony!
As my personal life continues on an amazing rampage to the heart, breaking me down, and eating me alive, I have little hope in finding a nice girlfriend who I could help me with my stress. Although, within the last few days, I have came to the realization that I don't exactly need to have a girlfriend, or rather, desire to either at the moment. While it would be nice, I seem to understand that maybe if I did, than I wouldn't have the free time I have now, or even the money to suffice that of which would be in demand from a relationship. I don't understand my reasoning's for wanting one, or for not wanting one.
This is something I feel like I have this constant cycle, in which I either do or don't want. Whenever I want someone to be there, it hurts me a lot. Eric has seen how I get at work, its really pathetic. Now that I'm on the other side of this motion, I feel a lot stronger, and confident at work. I don't understand this cycle, and why it exists, but it does, and it sucks.
I'm of course also worried that I could be back in the other side of this cycle even in days, it's hard to expect what is going to happen. It's really frustrating.
Oddly enough, I beat FF8 for the first time! Hurray! It honestly has turned out to be one of my favorite games in the series now. Rinoa is such a cute gal. Definitely makes me feel better!
Okay, and for a small daily update:
I have been guitaring a lot, and I am getting much better at it. I can make simple riffs, and I'm satisfied with them for now.
I took Monty for a drive tonight. We love riding in cars together. I went to wegmans and bought some lasagna, and soda, and I also go gas!
Final Fantasy XI is getting much better for me. The people who have been dicks to me for the past six months are finally lightening up, and I can actually tolerate them enough to joke at them. I very happy this is finally happened, although that means its easier to sink back into the game into some weird hardcore status that I have been many times before with this game.
In closure, I think if I just focus on things that make me happier, like playing Super Mario RPG, beating FF8, drinking coffee, and being in love with Monty I could have a brighter future, and I can get back to where I want to be, which is happiness. (Is that a place?)
See you space cowboy...
Ian^^ |
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| Update on last post |
[Aug. 1st, 2008|01:49 am] |
| [ | Music |
| | Air "Mike Mills" | ] |
Yeah, so what I was hiding, and holding for so long was finally released and all I can say is, everything was expected, and we'll see. Should I keep the flame going or not, I have NO fucking idea...
Needless to say, I feel like so much goddamn better tonight, even if I'm sleeping with just Monty.
Ian^^ |
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| Of course |
[Jul. 30th, 2008|02:38 am] |
| [ | Mood |
| | Fuck you. | ] |
| [ | Music |
| | "Cowgirl In The Sand" Neil Young | ] |
Again, painful longing.
I need to forget about my opposite sex, and focus on me. I find it so hard to do though. I don't care about that, and I have no motivation to start to care. I do care about you, you, and you, and everyone but myself, and I can't get away from it.
This is my journal so I'll say what I want: Life sucks for me. I wish I had someone to give me pity, but thats asking too much, as it always is.
Maybe in a few weeks I might feel better, but the feeling is stronger each time I get rejected. I don't even know why I liked this last person as much as I did. We never did anything together, hardly talked, and we were always under the influence of alcohol each time we hung out, but more like 75% of the time. Something fucking dragged me into that woman. Maybe it was the love for cats, or maybe the appearance, or whatever else that I don't care about opening up to at the moment.. Doesn't matter. I feel like poo, crying, and sleeping all at the same time.
Ian^^ |
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| Uuupdate. |
[May. 18th, 2008|08:35 pm] |
| [ | Music |
| | Tied and Tickled Trio "Other voices, Other Rooms" | ] |
Hm, been awhile now.
I don't know exactly what I will say.. so bare with me for a second or two, as I'm sure this wont make too much sense.
Recent Life Concerning Work:
Ok, so everyone always usually hates their job, me.. its no different. In fact I always keep saying I want to find another job every month or so. I'm back on that stretch of working again. It's not that I don't like the people I work for, In fact~ 60% of the reason I stay working at McDonald's is because of my awesome managers. They make it feel gratifying to work for them, and do their bidding. While at the same time they don't give you the respect of a common employee, they don't consider you to be any different, or even strong than another person who has worked there. Even someone who has worked there three months is on the same level as myself. Tina is trying to push me into management, but I doubt that will happen.. and if it does, I'll have to wait six more months at that shitty dead end place. I would honestly be happy if they gave me a 15 cent raise.. thats not asking for very much, i've been there a combined time of a year and a half now. Bleh. I hate my job.
Recent Life Concerning Friendships:
Lately, I feel like I lost a couple of friends. Whether it be my problem, or someone else problem altogether. Its depressing, but I guess its something I learned to just keep moving and hope I meet new people. Which honestly, I recently got to hanging out with an old friend from my like... early high school days. I wont disguise my feelings, I had a good time with her, and hope we hang out again. At least just a tip.
Recent Life Concerning Home:
Alan threatened to kill me. What. The. Fuck. So pretty much I temp moved to Austin's house for a couple of nights and decided to return in hopes that nothing will happen. I feel really bad for grandpa because he has to deal with this.. in his house. I definitely want to make sure he is okay, but at the same time, for me, it's time to move on, I need to move out. Monty too.
I got a guitar with my tax rebate, which I really like, and Jason, Jeff, Austin, Nipples, and I played together for the first time. How kick ass? Thats going to be good fun when we can start playing something together.. however long it takes us to figure it out. I'm committed.
FFXI:
Gay.
Anyways, if you can make any sense out of what I just said. I'm impressed, and stupefied that you would read it. I also feel really strong about something I said, but am too shy to mention it twice, and stress about it. When the time comes, maybe I shall write more about it.
Good luck and enjoy summer.
Ian^^ |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 2nd, 2008|11:32 am] |
| [ | Music |
| | Cledance Clearwater Revival "I put a spell on you" | ] |
L O L
"PARMEEESIAN CHICKEN"
-Grandpa
Other than that... as for a quick update:
Life is continuing in a downward motion, looks like I'm going to have to hit the bottom before I find what I'm looking for.
Ian^^ |
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| NY State laws |
[Mar. 19th, 2008|04:15 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  pissed off | ] |
Apparently, according to sections 1199 and 503(4) of the Vehicle and Traffic Law I have to pay New York State 300 dollars, in addition to the fees of previous (already paid) tickets, and two suspensions of my license. This is all due by April 12th, 2008.
I'm really not in a great mood all of a sudden.
Ian^^ |
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